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  • #558259
    • Posts : 2850
    • Succubus

    File Name: Castle Whiterock Session 01

    File Submitter: Illiani

    File Submitted: 27 Aug 2012

    File Category: Dungeons and Dragons 3.5

    Genre: Fantasy

    Profanity Level: Jolly Sweary Indeed

    An all new Pantsless Gamers Adventure begins and with a special guest…

    Click here to download this file

    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    An all new Pantsless Gamer’s adventure is about to begin!

    Join us in our first adventure with veteran gamer, Matt, GMing. Additional fun is guaranteed in the form of our special guest, RPGMP3’s greatest champion, Hal.

    So join us brave traveller, because when the dust has cleared, we’ll need somebody to carry away our bodies!


      [*] Alex as Seth Brogan, Half-Elf Rogue (from Brooklyn, apparently).

      [*] Danny as Desmond Fife, Human Fighter.

      [*] Hal as Bilberry Burfoot, Halfling Wizard, with Dinky the weasel familiar.

      [*] Jereme AKA Scaly as Allyne Trueblood, Elf Wizard (with yet another weasel familiar).

      [*] Jess as Tharstaleen Donnodel, Elven Cleric.

      [*] Nikki as Tressie Farmer, Human Ranger.

      [*] Matt AKA Ieqo as the GM.


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    The Hal/Pantsless Super-group sure makes a lot of references to other gaming groups – like the Long Tall Texans:

    Hal: “I think we should be touring the brothels and lap dance clubs of wherever the hell we are.”

    Danny: “Can I run into the nearest forest and shout ‘bear’?”

    Hal: “Not down my headset, you can’t.”

    Danny: “I’m actually wearing some kinda gnomish contraption – I have two headsets on, because headset A has a mike broken, headset B has the speakers broken.”

    Hal: “Might be time to buy headset C.”


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Danny: “I’m not letting Alex be the accountant, he steals shit – he’s Swedish like that.”


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Matt AKA Scott AKA Ieqo: “Is there anything, anything at all, that anyone – except for Scaly…”

    Jereme AKA Scaly: “Aww!”

    Matt: “…Wishes to say or ax to me before we begin?”

    Alex: “I would have one thing: why are you intentionally saying ‘axe’?”

    Matt: “Uh, just to make fun of the other, y’know… 9,999,000 residents of the state of Tennessee who talk like that, just not intentionally.”

    Danny: “You racist bastard.” 😉


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    And now a reference to Whartson Hall:

    Hal: “I’m looking for a name for my familiar.”

    Danny: “Barry. No, call him John.”

    Hal: “No, he’s not going to be called John.”

    Danny: “But he’s a weasel!”


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Jereme: “I’m Allyne Trueblood, elf wizard.”

    Danny: “You called your wizard Allan? That is so awesome!”

    Matt: “He spells it in an elfy style.”

    Jereme: “Actually, that is the spelling of my middle name.” 🙁


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Danny’s going through Tropis-withdrawal:

    Hal: “Bilberry Burrfoot, halfling wizard extraordinaire – this is my weasel, Dinky. Hi!”

    Alex: “Taking care of your weasel?”

    Hal: “Would you like to stroke my Dinky?”

    Danny: “Thank you for setting the tone for the entire campaign, Hal.” 😛

    Hal: “Gotta get in there early, kid.”

    Matt: “As promised to Jereme earlier: the first reference to your Dinky being in your trousers will cause much buggeration and fuckery, both in character and out!”

    *Danny bursts out laughting*

    Hal: “Where else am I gonna keep it?”

    Danny: “Oww, it hurts! Bastards…”

    Alex: “I think you killed Danny.”

    Hal: “Sorry.” 🙂

    Danny: “This is roleplaying, why aren’t we all miserable? Why isn’t it raining?”

    Matt: “I could make it rain, if you want.”

    Danny: “Please, I would feel right at home.”


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Danny: “So we’ve got an internship deal with the local wizard school; we take their crap wizards with us, and make sure they become not-crap.”
    Alex: “Or they all die – also an acceptable outcome.”
    Hal: “Don’t make me set my Dinky on you.” 🙁


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Matt: “You enter the town and find yourselves-“

    Danny: *Whispering* “Inside a tavern, inside a tavern, inside a tavern…”

    Alex: “Do I hear a chant of ‘inside a tavern’? Sounds almost religious.”

    Matt: “A large number of children descend upon you, offering to carry goods, show you to the tavern…”

    Danny: *Whispering* “Yesss!”

    Matt: “…Polish your boots, etcetera.”

    Jereme:Sleep the children!”


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Danny: “And we skip off to the tavern.”

    Matt: “What I need to know is: do they, in fact, skip off arm in arm? I need to make a note of that.”


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Let’s hope Tess doesn’t listen to this audio. 😉

    Danny: “First, the most important question: what is the condition of the womenfolk?”
    Matt: “The innkeeper is actually quite stunning – which means she’s a monk.” 😉

    Danny: “Nikki, you’re a very scary woman – will you marry me?”
    Nikki: “Sorry, I’m taken.”


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Jereme: “Aren’t you forgetting a very important fact?”

    Matt: “What am I forgetting?”

    Jereme: “Put a PC into a tavern, what happens…?”

    Matt: 🙁

    Jereme: “Hehehehe!”

    Matt: “I was gonna skip the tavern fight scene…”

    Danny: “Fuck you! This is the first time I get to play in oogles of years – I want my tavern! I want my tits, I want my wenches, I want my booze – all those things I don’t get in real life.”


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    And a World’s Largest Dungeon reference, by gum:

    Matt: “It is a pseudodragon.”

    Hal: “Bah! It’s not even a real one – what a cheap-ass establishment.”

    Danny: “At least it’s not an ILLUSION, Hal!”

    Hal: “What? What?! Don’t blame me, that was in the adventure!”


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Matt: “The patron to your left says “Yes! If you give Ixnay the first sip of your drink, you’ll have good luck the next day.””

    Hal: “Wouldn’t it be terribly rude to fly in the face of local… bullshit?”


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