Forums RPGMP3 Podcast Audio Actual Play Recordings Yorkton Gamer Guild Pathfinder Curse of the Crimson Throne Session 05

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  • #559109
    Lockhart
    • Posts : 1293
    • Owlbear

    File Name: Curse of the Crimson Throne Session 05

    File Submitter: Lockhart

    File Submitted: 15 Sep 2013

    File Category: Pathfinder

    Genre: Fantasy

    Profanity Level: Jolly Sweary Indeed

    Meeting with Royalty

    The Korvosan adventurers head towards Castle Korvosa to return the Queen’s missing brooch, however the riots have struck again in front of the Castle against a procession of noble funeral guests.

    Featuring:

    Carter as the GM and Brunsk, Human Barbarian

    Heather as Kasnas, Dwarf Rogue

    Jennifer as Silvia Silverweave, Changling Witch

    Andrea as Qurrs Heartzephyr, Kitsune Ranger

    Intro Music “Dark Fog” by Kevin MacLeod (http://www.incompetech.com)

    https://www.rpgmp3.com/files/game_recordings/Yorkton_Gamer_Guild/pf_cotct_part_05.mp3

    Click here to download this file

    #641343
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Thanks for the episode, @[member=”Lockhart”] and @[member=”Heather”] and @[member=”J4 Coltrain”] and Andrea.

    Vive le French Korvosan Revolution!

    “You hear the commoners crying things like: “Die, dandy!”, and the ever-present: “Death to the Whore Queen!”

    “That’s my favorite.” 🙄

    Re: the “But then I took an arrow in the Knee” Skyrim meme – sorry to burst anyone’s bubble, but it probably isn’t an old Norse metaphor for “getting married”.

    oMPfZpN.png

    Although, it does fit the bill very nicely:

     

    Well my husband and I have been using “I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a toddler in the knee” as a running joke for quite some time now, so yeah… 😛

    #641344
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    @[member=”Lockhart”] – you made a comment at one point, but it was hard to tell who it was meant for; you said that a certain character was designed to be “really good at hitting humans”. Were you referring to the Kitsune ranger? Did Andrea pick humans as her favored enemy? BTW, do Pathfinder rangers have to pick a specific subrace, when they take humanoids as a favored enemy, e.g. Favored Enemy: Humanoid (Goblinoids).

    The way @[member=Heather] is playing her character – particularly during the combat with the mob – you’d almost think she was a Gnome Titan from Hackmaster. 😉

    tumblr_lmr4faP8a81qkagj9o1_500.gif

    (And yeah, the Hellknights might be riding hippogriffs, but it would be pretty cool if they were riding another type of hippo.)

    flying_hippo.jpg

    #641345
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Kasnas carries a punching dagger, a masterwork dagger and 6 regular shivs? Wow, she’s just a bandolier of throwing knives shy of becoming a walking cutlery drawer. 🙂

    Thanks @[member=”J4 Coltrain”], for sharing the Pimp’s Prayer: 🙂

     

    Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch. And guide my pimp hand and make it strong, Lord. So that she might learn a ho’s place. Amen.

     

    While the Shepherd’s Prayer from Boondock Saints might have an epic ring to it, the Pimp’s Prayer is way more suited for the, ahem… tone of an average tabletop RPG game.

    Kinda tempted to roll up a cleric of Shelyn, or Calistria, or Sune …or maybe even a Slaaneshi cultist, and use the prayer in-game. Perhaps as the verbal component of a Bless spell? 😉

    #641346
    Heather
    • Posts : 98
    • Bullywug

    The way @[member=Heather] is playing her character – particularly during the combat with the mob – you’d almost think she was a Gnome Titan from Hackmaster. 😉tumblr_lmr4faP8a81qkagj9o1_500.gif

    I think the gif is pretty accurate. XD

    #641347
    Heather
    • Posts : 98
    • Bullywug
    #641348
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    He he he! Excellent work, @[member=”Heather”] – but where is Pimp Newton? Didn’t the episode end in a scene where Kasnas and the other PCs were super-paranoid about going anywhere before they had a chance to rest and recuperate, since @[member=”Lockhart”] kept throwing random encounters at them? And then they barricaded themselves in a room at the inn, making sure none of them had single rooms so the GM couldn’t catch anyone in the party alone with an NPC burglar-murderer-house-inn-invader?

    And then Kasnas turned around from the barred door, and suddenly! Gasp! There was Newton, grinning menacingly with a make-up-kit in one clawed paw, a pair of hair curler tongs and a sack of bling in the other – ready to “teach his girls”? 😉

    #641349
    Heather
    • Posts : 98
    • Bullywug

    And suddenly I see Kas in platform pumps, decked out like a Ho and standing on a street corner with a pout expression. Thanks @[member=Pencil-Monkey]  XD

    #641350
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    And suddenly I see Kas in platform pumps, decked out like a Ho and standing on a street corner with a pout expression. Thanks @[member=Pencil-Monkey]  XD

     

    And then she uses her feminine wiles to lure hapless whoremongers back to the inn, take them to a discreet back alley…

    …And groin stomps them till coins come flying outta them like frickin’ Sonic the Hedgehog in a weed whacker accident, yowza!

    This is Kasnas, after all. 😉

    #641351
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    …And groin stomps them till coins come flying outta them like frickin’ Sonic the Hedgehog in a weed whacker accident, yowza!

     

    Waitaminnit, that metaphor is utterly inaccurate! Sonic doesn’t collect measly coins, motherpricker wants rings! Dat hedgehog’s more gangsta than Pimp Newton, biatch.

    …Mario, then. Mario the Italian stereotype plumber. He certainly goes out of his way to get some serious coin – even going so far as to punch innocent citizens of the Toadstool kingdom who’ve been transmuted into magic bricks, and stealing their cash when it (somehow) flies out of their pockets. Do bricks even have pockets? Who cares! *PUNCH* 1 UP!

    Wow, when you think about it, Mario is a total douchebag.

    #641352
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Re: Saps – When you were discussing non-lethal weaponry, @[member=”Lockhart”] reminded @[member=”Heather”] that her character carries a sap. Someone said that they’re “a type of club”, which isn’t entirely true.

    You may wish to peruse the Quick & Dirty Guide to Saps and Blackjacks for more information. For example:

     

    Although the years have blurred the terminology, a Jack is technically round and the Sap is flat.

    Round ‘Jacks concentrate force whereas the flat type spread the force out. Round saps can actually break bones with relative ease.

    *Ahem* That might be a slight exaggeration, hehe. After all, everyone knows that saps are nice, cuddly weapons for self-defense purposes only, because they do non-lethal damage.

     

    The “Palm Sap” was a cylinder of lead encased in leather and had a strap so you could secure it in your palm with the strap going around the back of your hand.

    Invisible at night for sure. Some Police Officers used to simply love these types of Saps because when used in front of other “Tough Guys,” because it looks like someone being knocked out by being slapped open handed. If the Officer kept the “secret” well, he would develop a reputation on the street of being able to knock someone out by slapping them upside the head.

    Hmm, it would probably also be useful for rogue-ish type people who mixed with the criminal element, especially if you’re short, or female, or both, so you need to develop a reputation of being super-tough to keep other ruffians from seeing them as an easy target. 😉
     

    When the round blackjack started, literally, caving in skulls in the hands of the fearful or brutal […]

    You mean: “Caving in skulls in a totally non-lethal, almost harmless way”, right? Right, of course. Moving on.
     

    Sailors would make a Monkeyfist Knot out of hemp rope and they would place a steel, lead or brass ball, whatever they could get their hands on, inside the knot before tightening the knot down.

    See? How could a weapon with such a sophisticated, elegant name (and anything called monkey-something is automatically high-brow) possibly ever in any way be brutish and non-non-lethal?
     

    The device could be swung with maiming/deadly effect.

    *Mgulp* 🙁

    #641353
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Remember, this is a weapon that can change a person’s face forever, in an instant. Your facial structure is crushed. It’s a brutal weapon.

    Oh, look! Apparently, a ‘slungshot’ is a type of sap, and not a slingshot – ha ha ha! How amusing! *Cough*

    This is sort of funny. I keep seeing folks who think Slingshots are banned but the State that banned them does not know how to spell “Slingshot” and instead, the people think the State has misspelled the word with a “u” instead of an “i.”

    Police Officers use Blackjacks, and it ain’t pretty folks. These are brutal tools for brutal streets to be used on equally brutal people.

    If you hear that the Flat Sap is not effective against large muscle groups, this is someone that does not know what they are talking about […]

    You simply strike with the edge of the Sap instead of the flat of the Sap. It’s really that simple and very effective. That edge of the Sap will transmit force, cutting through the muscle [not literally, we’re speaking about pain/damage, not laceration].

    NON-LETHAL, DAMMIT! Saps do non-lethal damage! Kindly cease all that rampant hyperbole, immediately!

    The deterrent value of the blackjack or sap, once drawn, is not even up for debate. You would have to be from another planet to not know what you were in for if you resisted…or worse yet, attacked the Officer.

    […] In one case I know of, a Patrolman was wrestling with someone, a standing grapple over a traffic citation [what a thing to go to jail for, huh?] and because there was ice on the ground, they both slipped. He was trying to gain control of the suspect and they were both trying to get to ground without ice on it to gain control of the situation… In desperation, the Patrolman slipped the ‘Sap out of its pocket and aimed…and splintered a patch of ice where the suspect’s hand had been a split second before. The suspect gave up instantly, still slipping on the ice, on his belly… He knew if he escalated what that Sap would do to him…it just took the fight right out of him and he never even had to get hit with it.

    Aha! So when you’re using a sap to deal non-lethal damage to an opponent in Pathfinder or D&D, you’re not really striking the other person – you’re intimidating them by smacking around random pieces of scenery, walloping a brick so hard it splits in half and so on. You’re draining your opponents of their will to fight. 🙂

    Sap Gloves. I’m sure everyone is familiar with these nasty items. Very good leather gloves with powdered lead sewn into the knuckles.

    …Are you f*{<ing serious?! [/fliptable]

    #641354
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    For the Yorkton Gamers, potty humour is a calling card, a recurring theme that they simply cannot (or will not) let go of.

    Jade Regent brought the infamous ‘Back Door to the Swamp’, which has been quoted heavily ever since.

    In Ptolus, the party bought a house – and then went dungeon crawling in the ample in-door plumbing. :O

    The Tomb of Haggemoth was made even more deadly (especially for paladins) when @[member=”Lockhart”] introduced the Throne of Ages – a magical artifact of incredible power that has been the bane of countless adventurers (just as its sulfurous pong has been the bane of countless air fresheners).

    (And who could forget the Privy Pixies from InSpectres: Little Italy’s Meatiest Balls?)

    Frankly, it can only be a matter of time before @[member=”J4 Coltrain”], @[member=”Heather”] and Angela from the Curse of the Crimson Throne group follows suit. 😉

    https://www.rpgmp3.com/ipb/gallery/image/300-the-curse-of-the-porcelain-throne/

    #641355
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    BTW, @[member=”J4 Coltrain”]: What’s Sylvia’s hair colour? Is she a Paris Hilton blonde, or a fiery redhead, or a classy brunette?

    (And yes, it would probably be faster to just go and relisten to the first episode and check what her character description said, but she might have dyed her hair since then, y’know?)

    #641356
    Balgin
    • Posts : 2127
    • Succubus

    I must say I enjoyed the little Oriana cameo. Something didn’t quite feel right about it but it worked.

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