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  • #559868
    • Posts : 1293
    • Owlbear

    File Name: Dragon's Delve Session 27

    File Submitter: Lockhart

    File Submitted: 13 Mar 2014

    File Category: Pathfinder

    Genre: Fantasy

    Profanity Level: Jolly Sweary Indeed

    Rise of the Red Saint

    Azurne puts on a helmet, the Red Saint emerges, and all chaos breaks loose.


    Carter as the GM

    Paul as Azurne

    Kurtis as Trig

    Scott as Davor

    Vince as Milo

    Mike as Raven

    Intro music provided by

    Click here to download this file

    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    The mid-combat nature vs. nurture debate was hilarious, especially when Scott argued how his character had personal experience on the subject, having been raised by goblins and all that. 🙂

    Davor: “I’ve seen evil! I worship an evil god… Because I really like poison.”

    Life is like a box of XP; you never know when you’re gonna level up.

    QFT. 🙂


    • Posts : 1293
    • Owlbear

    Heh, I really like that quote of mine. It’s pretty good. Almost a t-shirt idea.

    This session almost made me never want to deal with brain-whammy stuff in the games I GMed. Almost XP

    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Heh, I really like that quote of mine. It’s pretty good. Almost a t-shirt idea.


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    8 minutes – Lockhart gave Scott permission to re-assign one of his feats:

    Kurtis: “So basically, Carter is such a forgetful DM, you can have that other feat.” 😉
    Lockhart: “Yes… Oh no, Kurtis! I forgot what level you are, you can start over at level 1.” 😛
    Mike: “Sucks to be you!” 😀

    11 minutes – recapping:

    Lockhart: “So, when we last left off, Azurne had just put on a helmet…”

    16 minutes – Azurne seems to have changed quite a bit, after she equipped that new piece of bling; for one thing, it’s almost as though she think she’s the Red Saint (among other changes):

    Lockhart: “It really intensifies her force of personality, despite her being blind.” 😉
    Mike: “Man, that helmet looks hot! I like the dents, they give you character – no, Charisma, that’s the one.”
    Scott: “It really slims you out.”

    34 minutes – the party has gained a couple of hench-creatures, Tunskalan the Friendly Ogre and Jourmanali the Rastafari Troll; most of the party enjoy their company, which is unsurprising, since they already have a rather liberal group line-up, including a Doppelganger Monk, and Scott, AKA Davor the Half-Orc Alchemist (AKA Muss the Face-Eater):

    Tunskalan: “I like books! Dey’re heavy!”
    Scott: “He’s gonna get along with Muss just fine.”
    Mike: “I like heavy stuff. ‘So do I!’ …Bros for life!”
    Scott: “Do you like eating faces? ‘Sometimes.'”
    Tunskalan: “”I’m a recovering face-eater!”

    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    57 minutes – Azurne is suddenly insisting that the two hench-monsters should be put back in the cells they were found in, even going so far as to attack both them and the other PCs! Jourmanali the Rastafari Hench-Troll is very upset by the spell that Azurne attacked him with, whilst Mike (AKA Raven the Doppel-Monk) tries to calm him down:

    Jourmanali: “Yoo be on her side?!” 🙁

    Mike: “You’re a little bit crazy, back off bro.”

    Jourmanali: “She da crazee wun! Yoo see what she did?!” _angry__by_CookiemagiK.gif

    Mike: “Yeah, arguably, she’s a bit fuckin’ nutty. She did that to me, too, she’s a bitch.”

    Jourmanali: “Let me fix ‘er in her head!”

    Mike: “Whoa, that’s not… What are you gonna do, fuck her ear?!” 😮

    Kurtis: *Stage yelling* “Videotape that! We can pro’ly sell it on the internet.”

    Mike: “The internet doesn’t exist yet.”

    Kurtis: “We’ll keep that for when it does. A video of a troll, fuckin’ a witch in the ear? That’s gotta be worth something to somebody.” 😉


    1 hour, 18 minutes – Despite the fact that trolls regenerate, Jourmanali is not willing to forgive the witch for attacking him:

    Mike: “Jourmanali, bro! What did I tell you?”

    Jourmanali: “Yoo will not deny me mah revenge, mon!”

    Kurtis: “Revenge for a minor headache! What’s that going for, these days?”

    Mike: “An alt for an alt makes the world cool down.”

    Chorus: wut_by_czar_the_dragon-d5xzn8f.gif

    Mike: “Think WoW.” 😉

    1 hour, 20 minutes – Tunskalan tries to help:

    Tunskalan: “Jourmanali looks ang-gryyyy!”

    Mike: “Yeah, Tunskalan, he’s having a bit of a temper tantrum. I’m gonna have to knock ‘im out. We’ll have fisticuffs!”

    Tunskalan: “Should Ah help?”

    Mike: “Yes! Yes, yes you should, Tunskalan.”

    Tunskalan: “Arrggghhhh!”


    Paul: “He’s gonna die.”

    Mike: “Yeah, probably; he’s gonna hit him with a book shelf, BAM! Har har har! Then next round: RRAGGH! Get ripped up.”

    Lockhart: “He doesn’t have a weapon, does he?”

    Mike: “No, he sure don’t!”

    Lockhart: “‘Cause ogres don’t have natural attacks.”

    Mike: “Punch for 1d4 non-lethal! Ha-haaa!”

    Paul: “Should throw a book at him – the whole bookcase!”

    Lockhart: “He charges, books are flying off, as he’s charging, anyway.”

    Paul: “That’s gonna be an amazing-“

    Kurtis: “Yeah, Pencil-Monkey, when you hear this: I want a picture of an ogre, charging down a hallway, snarling like hell with books flying off of his back! That will be amazing, I will use it as wallpaper forever.”

    Mike: “I think the monk would be face-palming, ’cause he knows: ‘Wait a minute… Shit!'”


    Lockhart: “Yeah, I have to say: It’s not looking good for Tunskalan.” 🙁

    Kurtis: “Tunskalan used: Shitty Attack! It’s not very effective…” 😛

    Lockhart: “Tunskalan used: Splat!

    Chorus: _ha_ha__by_MenInASuitcase.gif

    Lockhart: “And, Raven?”

    Kurtis: “You just wait till Tunskalan evolves!”

    Mike: “I’m gonna use Fury Attack, I mean: Flurry of Blows?” 😉

    Kurtis: *Stage whisper* “(Fury Swipes! Fury Swipes!)”

    Lockhart: “Double Kick?”

    Kurtis: “Double Cock-Slap? What?”


    Larger (wallpaper-friendly) version here:


    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Scott: I remember my chemistry teacher interrogated this gummy bear. 🙂 He shouted “Where’s the rebel base?”, and then took a blow torch, PFRRFFTTTHH!


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