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  • #557921
    Hal
    Admin
    • Posts : 7753
    • Treant

    File Name: Labour of Love Session 06

    File Submitter: Hal

    File Submitted: 26 Feb 2012

    File Category: Dungeons and Dragons 3.5

    Genre: Fantasy

    Profanity Level: Jolly Sweary Indeed

    The party come face to face with something truely terrifying – the gag inducing power of Pruglak the Corpulant

    https://www.rpgmp3.com/files/game_recordings/RPGMP3/labour_of_love/labour_of_love_part_06.mp3

    Buy the Labour of Love PDF

    Click here to download this file

    #637432
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Glen: “Oh, for god’s sake, COVER YERSELF!”
    Hal: “Aye, lad!” *Grunting as clothes are changed*
    Glen: “Anyone got some pants I can borrow?
    Hal: “Dwarves ‘ave no shaaame, lass! Also, we’ve got nuffin ter be ashamed of! Look!”
    Lindsay: *Shocked noises*
    Glen: “When we die, they cut ’em off and use them as dicebags!
    Lindsay: “Nice!”
    Glen: “My coin pouch is my old uncle’s, rest his soul – it’s a great honor!”
    Lindsay: “Mine’s purple, what was wrong with him?”
    Chris: “Must’ve been a while.”
    Glen: “Forgot to take the rubber band off!
    Lindsay: “Ah, the stories we could tell.”

    #637433
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Hal: “So, what’s fer breakfast?”
    Lindsay: “Goblin?”
    Hal: “No, I ‘ad enough of dat.”
    Andy: “So long as he’s got pants on, whatever.”
    Lindsay: “He has pants on.”
    Hal: “Eyyy!”
    Chris: “But now the bard doesn’t.”
    Andy: “I wasn’t specifying who.”
    Glen: “Besides, with this much hair, can you tell the difference betwee-“
    Lindsay: “Entangle! Foof – afro.”
    Glen: “That doesn’t work, I can french braid it in less than 3 seconds – watch!”

    #637434
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Hal: “You see this grossly fat goblin woman, hugging the elven wizard, but not in an angry way, in a loving way – and he seems to be likin’ it.”
    Chris: “C’mon, man! You can do better!”
    Hal: “His face is enraptured.”
    Chris: “My god, you could BUY better!”
    Glen: “I’ll give ya to my cousin Loretta, he’d love ya.”
    Andy: “You’re just being racist, I like her a lot, shut up!
    Hal: “The other elven wizard is just climbing up the steps to the bed, and the rogue is not far behind.”
    Glen: “I hope you guys got a lot of soap.”
    Chris: “I am NOT healing that!”

    #637435
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    A timeless classic:

    Glen: “Alright, dwarves! You know what time it is.”
    Hal: “Is this where you pull up your battle g-string or something?”
    Chris: “We give the dwarven battle cry!”
    Glen: “Ready…?”
    Chris and Glen: “THUNDER-TWIN POWERS: ACTIVATE!”
    Chris: “I form: AN AXE!”
    Glen: “Shape of: A HAMMER!”
    Ned: “And Grogan will form the head!”
    Lindsay: “They were passing notes! They had secrets, it’s not fair!” 🙁
    Glen: “Wow, we knocked Hal out of it!”

    #637436
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Turns out that the Texans are more familiar with Lemures and other extra-dimensional beasties, than they are with European cuisine:

    Hal: “Something appears at the end of the bed, a large pile of snot.”

    David: “It’s a poo elemental!”

    Hal: “It looks like she just dropped some trifle on the floor.”

    David: “What’s trifle?”

    Hal: “…What’s trifle?!” 😮

    Glen: “Trifle is a small bother, over here.”

    Hal: “Fuck sake! You colonials.”

    Some Woman: “It’s a dessert, like jello.”

    Chris: “Well, why didn’t you say jello?!”

     

    #637437
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    David: “With all that flab, does she have a spell failure chance?”

    Drew: “‘Cause she can’t do the somatics properly.”

    Glen: “Unfortunately, you can’t make a called shot to the jaw to make a wizard fail a spell check.”

    Glen: “Try to cast a spell with no teeth.” *Unhggnn!*

     

    #637438
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    The mind-controlled elves get caught up in a violent love triangle:

    Hal: “Merv gets the bed – there’s already someone else there! That ain’t good.”

    Chris: “Sloppy seconds.”

    Glen: “She’s two-timing you! Kill her!”

    Hal: “You feel anger – you don’t know who it is, no idea – it’s some other elven man.”

    Chris: “ELF FIIIIGHT!”

    Hal: “You can’t think straight to cast spells, you just wanna grab him with your hands and beat him.”

    Glen: “Grab him by the hair! Grab him by the hair! Claw his eyes out! Claw his eyes out! Mess up his MAKE-UP!”

    Goggles: “If only I had room for a running charge.”

    Glen: “Smear his mascara.”

    David: “His man-scara!”

    *Glen cackles*

     

    #637439
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Glen: “C’mon, you’re an elf! You do 1d2 per slap!”

    Hal: “And it’s subdual!”

     

    #637440
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Hal: “And if you do, you get an electric ball hitting you, I believe.”

    David: “He teabags you!”

     

    #637441
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    The prospect of watching two dignified Elf Wizards get their hands dirty, pummeling each other, may sound exciting at first – until you consider the probability of them hitting their opponent (and average damage output):

    Glen: “Bardok! Go get the popcorn, this is gonna be a while.”

     

    #637442
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Since Lindsay is distracted, her female Druid is up for grabs – as it were…

    Glen: “Why could’t we have the princess and the druid go at it? We’d be sitting here with the orcs and goblins, beering.”

    David:Grease!” 🙂

    #637443
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Hal: “You realize you’re in the armpit of a green woman. You look up to see the other elven wizard looking down at you, anger in his eyes. It doesn’t feel bad to have your trousers around your ankles, but for some reason it’s so, so wrong. You look up at the gap-toothed woman looking down at you, and there’s a kind of connection there.”

    David: “SHE’S TOUCHING MY WEE!”

     

    #637444
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Since the game is taking place in a gaming store, a couple of bystanders have wandered past and started their own running commentary – including bawdy songs about battleaxes, and a pitch-perfect impersonation of Kermit the Dire Frog.

    Some Dude: “By the power of Greyskull!”

    Glen: “By the power of Grey’s Anatomy!”

     

    #637445
    Pencil-Monkey
    • Posts : 5728
    • Mind Flayer

    Still fighting the trifle – err, Lemure:

     

    FE-Lemure.png

     

    Hal: “The halfling seems to be trying to eat some brown snot with a spoon.”
    David: “Get! In! Mah! Belly!”

    Hal: “Are you using a Good or silver weapon?”
    Glen: “It’s a pretty good weapon… paid enough for it.”

    David: “I try to bite it!”
    Hal: “Go for a bite of opportunity on the trifle!”
    David: “So that’s a d2?”
    Hal: “Do you have Good or silver teeth?”
    Drew: “He’s got fillings, the doctor said they were silver.”

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